AITA for leaving Christmas dinner early because my SIL wanted to name her daughter the same name as mine but spelt different?

I’m a 30f and my husband is a 32m. We have one daughter, Madelyn (8f). I have a SIL, Jasmin (32f) and she has been having infertility issues for a while now and has had a couple of miscarriages. Jasmin and I aren’t that close but we’re friendly to each other.

She got pregnant a few months ago and she had her gender reveal party about 2 weeks ago. Everyone was so excited and happy when we found out she was having a girl.

During this year’s family Christmas dinner, she announced that she was going to name her kid Madelyn, but spelt differently of course! (as if that made it any better) Her daughter’s name was going to be Madilyn. I was completely shocked. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect that Jasmin would want to name her kid Madelyn as well. If she told me before we named our daughter, I probably would’ve taken that into consideration before naming her.

I asked Jasmin why she would want to name her daughter the same name as mine, and she said that technically it wasn’t the same name since it was going to be spelt different. She also said that her great aunt’s name was also Madilyn and that she thought that Madilyn was a cute name. Jasmin also mentioned that Madilyn was supposed to be the name of her kid before she had a miscarriage (this was before Madelyn was born). I never even knew that was what she wanted to name her kid because she never told anyone!

I was really upset and told her she could’ve just told me before I named my daughter that she also wanted to name her daughter Madelyn. She said that I was always such a witch and that I probably would’ve named my daughter Madelyn either way. I don’t even know what I ever did to this woman. I then asked what we were going to do about the confusion of them having the same name and she told me we could use my daughter’s middle name! Like, what? I told her if anything, we should be calling her daughter by her middle name since my daughter came first.

We went back and forth a few more times before I decided to leave early with my husband and Madelyn. My daughter was also pretty confused and asked why her aunt would want to name her daughter the same name as her. I’m still really upset and hopes she changes her mind, but this morning my BIL texted me and said that I should try to better understand Jasmin and her feelings. I texted him back and told him that she should stop being such a witch and try to understand my feelings instead. I really don’t think I’m an asshole, but AITA?

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