Am I Wrong for expecting my date to cover the cleaning cost of a dress he ruined?
I (27F) am in a bit of a dilemma and could really use some advice.
I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months, and we decided to go to a nice high-end restaurant for a date. Initially I was going to wear a nice dark blue dress that I like to wear out, but he asked me to wear a different white dress that I had shown him once as it matched his outfit (I’ve never had a guy ask me this). The white dress in question was a gift from my late grandmother and was quite expensive, so I was reluctant but agreed and just asked that we didn’t go anywhere after where I might spill something on it or otherwise mess it up (he mentioned clubbing after dinner which is why I said that, I didn’t want to risk messing the dress up) and he said we could just go to dinner and I could change out of it before doing anything else. Great!
However, the evening took a turn for the worse when he accidentally spilled his red wine all over my dress. He had gotten an unexpected call and when he tried to quickly mute his ringer, his elbow hit his glass and it spilled all in the lap area of my dress before I could react. It was completely drenched and stained. He was apologetic at the time, and I tried to be cool about it, but inside, I was devastated, especially since I had mentioned specifically how I wanted to be careful wearing it.
Later, I mentioned to him that the dress was very expensive and asked if he’d be willing to help with the cost of cleaning or replacing it. To get it professionally cleaned and the stain removed would cost $100, which I asked him to pay half of. To my surprise, he got quite defensive. He argued that it was an accident and that I was being unreasonable for expecting him to pay for something like that, and that it was my fault for wearing it out knowing that it could’ve happened.
I feel like it’s a matter of principle. Yes, it was an accident, but the dress is ruined, and it was extremely sentimental to me not to mention a valuable dress. He thinks I’m being materialistic and making a big deal out of nothing. Now, I’m not sure how to feel about his reaction. AITA for expecting him to cover the cost?
