AITA for kicking my DIL out on nye calling me mom

I have 2 my eldest son and his wife is called Ed and Edna and my youngest son and his wife is called Sam and Cat.

Context I have known Edna her whole life. When she was 7 her mom got diagnosed with cancer so I started to help out with raising her. Her and Ed were best friends so it was easy. When she was 10 her mom passed away so I took over all duties of raising a daughter. She started to date my son in college and they got married later on.

I genuinely look at her as my daughter because I basically raised her (her dad drank himself to death when she was 19) with my family. Like she would spend all the holidays like school breaks and go with us to holidays ect.

When they got married they bought the house 4 houses down and has been living there.

Now Cat is very sweet she can cook well and we bond in the kitchen and we get along great. But I really don’t like being called Mom by her I don’t know why but I just don’t. I don’t like it when people or children call me Aunty or nicknames ect. I don’t mind Edna calling me Mom because I feel like I raised her and earned that title.

I have talked to her and my son many times about this. It makes me uncomfortable and she says it shouldn’t. That it is awkward for her to call me by my first name.

This new years dinner she made it a point to call me mom in every sentence and I was annoyed. I pulled her aside and told her to knock it off and she said it’s not fair that Edna can call me mom but she can’t. I told her that i raised Edna so it makes sense. Edna has no family other than us but you have a huge family with a mom that loves you very much.

She said that she feels like I’m rejecting her from the family and I told if after all I have done for you and this is the thing that makes you feel isolated then you need help to be grateful. ( for context Among other things I paid half of her college loans and helped her pay for the house they live in.)

She said that I’m a bitch and Edna can be my favorite DIL and it’s creepy that I will bbsite pups and not my gdkids because she and Sam won’t ever come back. I told her to get out and be a brat somewhere else. Sam got involved and dragged Cat away.

Cat lives 6 hours away and I can’t drive well and they don’t have gust bed for me to stay the night. I pay 25% in childcare tho. E and I have spa days once a month a tradition since she was a teen. So when Cat comes we all go for a spa trip and i always pay.

Sam sent me text asking me to apologize because it’s such a small thing and that cat is serious about her threat.

I left him on read because I didn’t think I need to apologize.

Even my grandchildren call me by my name. They rarely call me grandma and they like calling me by my name.

Actually Edna doesn’t call my mom often. She does sometimes but she always uses my name because she knows I’m comfortable with it. If Cat called me mom one of I don’t mind. It’s just ever single sentence that’s directed to me ends or starts with mom and I feel so uncomfortable.

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